Book Review 2019-005
Pretend We Live Here by Genevieve Hudson
2018 by Future Tense Press, 168 pages
(We purchased a signed copy of this book direct from the publisher).
Another excellent story collection published by Future Tense Press. The last paragraph of the final story, "Boy Box," in the collection fits the book very well:
Kit holds her finger to the volume dial until the whole car is packaged with noise and bass, and Francis can't tell the difference between what's beating inside of her and out. She pushes her foot into an invisible brake on the van floor, hoping for Kit to slow down on the curves, at read lights, in the woods. They drive out of the familiar into a park where it's only dark. Kit's eyes press forward, and Francis searches for Crane in her features. She needs to see him in there, to make her feel a little less alone, to make her feel like this isn't dangerous, but jst another night drive to smoke cigarettes, sip dandelion beer, practice kissing on your best friend.
Hudson's characters frequently seem to find themselves in situations like this--getting some of what they'd been hoping for and then immediately wondering if they'd been right to push for them. It is this general theme, along with extremely well-developed characters, that draws us into each story. This searching to be a part of something while it's held just at bay for much of the story. The word unrequited pops into the reader's head throughout, even if not always with the world love afterward. Sometimes it's just a group to be a part of, not a burgeoning romantic relationship. What Hudson has done with this is create stories that the reader cannot just set aside, but must continue reading to find out how they continue, what happens to these characters we grow to care about so quickly.
One of the reasons for this is the characters. They are conflicted, they are not pat. There are no simply queer characters, or protagonists that are positive of what it is they are looking for. They suffer identity crisis and the combination of their inner monologues along with their actions and those of the characters around them help to fully form them. From "Bad/Dangerous":
I used to really like Clyde. Maybe I even had a crush on him. I don't know. I used to get crushes on men all the time, but I never actually wanted to touch them. It's like my friend Ezra, who wanted to know what it would be like to go on a date with a woman, but he only thought about it sometimes and it was more like a science experiment and the woman would have to know he was only curios before the date so she didn't get the wrong idea. A puff of hereronormative firecrackery that he could bask in for a splendiferous moment. Then he could go back to normal life.
The second to last sentence there is pretty amazing all by itself. There are some other great descriptions i this collection including another from that final story: "The air around Kit crackles like she's tearing it open."
Place is another important aspect of Hudson's work, both in straightforward and subtle ways. Straightforward in that placing her characters in Amsterdam versus those in rural Alabama allows her to describe the obvious differences through descriptions of the land, of the foods being eaten, of the other people around. However, in maybe a more subtle way, she's infused her stories, no matter where they've been set, with characters suffering the same issues--people mostly set in their thoughts about themselves, yet still somewhat conflicted at times; people wanting something just outside their reach; people putting themselves out there on the limb hoping it won't break. She's used place, as well as character, to show that things are the same for people everywhere, for people of all genders, for people of all sexual orientations. We're all searching for something, frequently seemingly just out of our reach, and Hudson's stories draw us in and hold us while showing us that.
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